one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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