I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
