I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Welp...herpes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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