is your mom at the bar?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
