I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize