no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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