i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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