This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
