so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
