you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
