I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
