I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
