Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize