when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
