so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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