Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize
