There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
