I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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