she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
