Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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