textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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