The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
