Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
