Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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