Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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