it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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