Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize