What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
