He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize