Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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