Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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