What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
