O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
