i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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