Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
