im six kinds of drunk right now
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
