i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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