Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
