I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
