he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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