i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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