Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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