i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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