How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
