Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize