Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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