Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Randomize
