In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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