I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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