if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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