I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
