I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
