You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
