Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
