My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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