I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
