i don't like sucking hair
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
