i already hear my dad disowning me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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