mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
