my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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