So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have post one night stand depression
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
