i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
