Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
be right there i have to get my cape
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize