You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love having hate sex.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
