I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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