fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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