worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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