At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
