guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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