I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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