Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize