walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
