hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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