My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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