Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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