she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
